One Year Ago Today
Published by admin under Pandemonium on November 19, 2009One year ago today Matthew was driving me to the Birth Center in the early morning hours after I woke up to stomach cramps and a crying toddler realizing that I was indeed in labor. How far away and yet close at the same time it feels to remember being pregnant with Naomi. It’s hard to contemplate her growing inside of me. I look at her now, and it’s hard to imagine how tiny, gentle, and quiet she was when she came into this world and up to the time she started to be mobile. My first coherent memory of her after examining her and reveling in her “Matthewness” is her whimpering when Matthew and I laid down to sleep for a few hours next to her. She must not have liked being outide haha.
People always talk about “having a baby” and all that comes with that, but what they don’t talk about is how that tiny person changes who you are and that it happens EVERY time you have a child. Granted Vera made me “mommy”, but when Naomi was born I became Vera and Naomi’s mommy. Something changed again. Another piece of my heart was out and about walking this earth.
Naomi has come so far in one year. Every day she is doing something new and different. She walks, beats Vera up, and says quite a few words. All these things she’s learned from her big sister. When I think of what celebrating Naomi being here one year means it means being in awe of all her accomplishments, being amazed at the little person she is, but also being proud of Vera. This past year Naomi has taught Vera to share (still working on that most of the time), how to be caring, and loving. The dynamic between them is genuine . It also means that I’m blessed. The process of having children and them living is a miracle in itself, and I appreciate every moment that God has given us.
Happy Birthday Little “Nomi”,”Nogi”, “Newgi”, “Peanuckle”, “Noogen”, and whatever else your Dad just randomly calls you. You are much loved, Naomi ^_^.
great post! definitely not ready to have another baby yet, don't think i could handle a 2 yr old and a newborn, but i do look forward to the day when we have our 2nd child. it's hard to imagine having enough love for more than one child, but i've heard that your heart grows bigger every time you have one
Thank you. ^_^
Yeah, I completely understand that feeling. Vera was only 13 months when I became pregnant again. It made it hard for me because I felt a lot of guilt that Vera would be neglected and that it wasn't the right time; maybe should have waited a couple more years. However looking at the situation now…I really don't know if there ever is a good time to introduce another child into the family. For one the older child will always be meeting new milestones, and two toddlers just don't seem to ever "get better" in the behavior department lol. I'm glad that Naomi came when she did. If I had thought about the "right time" I don't know if she'd be here today haha. Don't mistake what I'm saying. I simply mean that unfortunately things won't be "easier" they'll just be different, and adding another kid to the mix more then likely won't change too much.
I couldn't imagine loving another child as much as I loved Vera too & people would say the same thing-your heart will grow bigger, but it was hard to imagine. My heart didn't really grow bigger. It more or less felt like I had grown another one haha. I know that sounds odd, but it feels like I have three hearts (my own-myself- which encompasses Matthew), and then the girls; each one special and different. I love them equally in different ways. I respect who they are as a person; as a different piece of me, of my heart.
I want a third child and these worries pop back up when contemplating when it's ok to "think" about having another child. That and fincial issues are a key factor. Maybe we'll just continue being careful like we were before and we'll get another suprise haha. Sorry this reply is almost as long as my post.
I love and appreciate your comments! This is what blogging is all about; conversation.
i know a lot of people who have children close together and they love it that way and wouldn't have it any other. there are definately huge benefits to having children close together and also having them a few years apart, either way, what is right for your family is all that matters and never let anyone convince you otherwise.
and no prob about commenting. i love reading blogs. and i love commenting.
ideally i think i would like to try for another child when johnny is between 3 and 4, but we have no idea when john is going to get hired back or get a better job so we are trying to be extremely careful right now while he is laid off.
it actually sounds like he may be off from work for quite awhile. the union just got a TAA petition passed and it sounds like john is going to get his schooling paid for and that we are going to still be getting paid while he is going to school.so it sounds like he will be able to get his bachelor's degree, hopefully.
so maybe we'll still be able to try for another baby when johnny is around 4. it's hard to say.
that's cool that you guys are going to try for another baby. at one point john said he'd like 3 kids, not sure what will really happen.
i'm so glad to know someone else around my age who is married with kids. it's really hard to relate to people our age sometimes. i often feel like i am at a completely different point in my life than most of my friends and sometimes they just don't get it….
oh well… keep on bloggin!
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