“It was so bad they could make a movie from it”

Published by admin under Pandemonium on January 7, 2010

I was going to write my own post about why my Christmas was so bad, but was giggling over an e-mail my husband sent to a co-worker and decided it pretty much summed everything up to a T. Hope you enjoy Matthew’s perspective on Christmas. I know I did.(All typos left for your enjoyment ^_^). Yes I am being uberlazy….so what it’s my blog :P

Dear {co-worker’s name},

I hope you had a good Christmas. Mine has been a wreck. It was so bad they could make a movie from it. First everyone started off sick and no one would take the medicine. Then on Christmas eve my wife had her stitches removed early that morning. A few hours later the area ripped open. We call the Dr which told us she can’t look at it until Monday. We could try a med clinic or a hospital but they may do nothing. Well we went to the med clinic and they said because the stitches where in for 10 days they can’t stitch it back up. The reason behind this is it could get infected. I still don’t understand this because it can get infected anyways with a hole the size of a quarter that is 1 1/2″ deep. They told us they wont touch it. We then went to the hospital and was told that same thing. So no I have been a human walker carrying around my wife since Thursday. So Christmas eve I got my 12 days of what a burger coupon and picked up food for everyone because it was such a crummy day. We ate what seemed to be a delicious burger. By that night everyone stomach was messed up. The fallowing day started a day of diarrhea. Through the day everyone was grumpy and didn’t feel good. Saturday the diarrhea decided to bring it up a notch and turn explosive. So every 20 min I head my older daughter “OH NO” then runs through the house bow legged to the rest room. On the way destroying everything in her path. Keep in mind my wife can’t walk around because the open wound is on her knee. I believe I went through 75 diapers in 2 days. The continues even to this point. All I can think about is cursing those damn What A Burger coupons for bringing a rough Christmas to a whole new level. The sad thing is I’ll continue to love the burgers. Also interesting fact you may or may not have known about diarrhea. According to language experts, diarrhea is the most beautiful sounding word in the English language if you don’t speak English. I heard that about 5 years ago on morning radio. You hear the strangest thing in the morning and for some reason they stick with you. Anyways is it alright to work from home tomorrow morning. I need to take my wife to the Dr that began this whole thing to see if they can fix her up. I should be in by the afternoon. I know I have been asking a lot the past few weeks. I really appreciate everything. If you laughed during the story I hope so because it’s so ridiculous that you have to chuckle about how bad it is. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

Yes, It was that bad. The nice thing about you reading Matthew’s writing is that he doesn’t exaggerate….I on the other hand am notorious for that.